An international team of investigators today released the preliminary report of the Human Meanome Project. The multicentre collaboration, involving scientists and philosophers from over twenty countries, has for the past decade tried to answer the enduring question: “what is the meaning of a human life?”
The effort, largely based on the successful ‘Human Genome Project’, has utilized a series of ‘model’ organisms in order to derive the meaning of life of species of increasing biological complexity. Determining the answer for a series of evolutionary relatives of humankind was hypothesized to provide the logical and philosophical framework required to tackle the same question regarding humans.
Beginning with the bacteria E.coli and the single celled yeast, Saccharomyces cerevisia, the team analyzed the plant, Arabidopsis thaliana, fruitfly, Drosophila melanogaster, pufferfish, Fugu rubripes and the common house mouse, Mus musculus.
“Quite frankly, we’re shocked”, explained lead researcher, Professor Francis Conway Miller.
“Apparently the meaning of life of an E.coli is to make more E.coli!”
“Not only that,” he explained “but the meaning of life of a Saccharomyces yeast seems to be to make more yeast!”
“Can you guess the meaning of a fruitfly?” asked the wide eyed Conway Miller.
“It’s to make more flippin’ fruitflies! No! I’m not kidding!”
“At first we thought it was an anomaly or just some silly mistake in the analysis but no, it’s far too consistent to be explained any other way!”
“Some of us are starting to get quite freaked out by the whole thing”, explained Conway Miller, “especially when we got the results for the pufferfish and mouse! – It’s the same with them!”
The project is now expected to move into its final phase with the analysis of the human data.
“Obviously we approach the human question with an open mind”, explained Professor Conway Miller.
“I can’t wait to see the result!”
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Result in - the meaning of human life is to make gods!
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