Sunday, May 31, 2009

Francis Collins appointed Director of Narnia Institute of Health

Dr Collins prepares for work

Former head of the National Human Genome Research Institute and avid CS Lewis fan Francis Collins was today appointed the next Director of the NIH, the Narnia Institute of Health, according to sources close to Dr Collins.

“Francis is honored to have been considered for this post by the great Lord Aslan” stated our source.

Collins is expected to bring his enormous experience of modern molecular genetics to the table as his team at the NIH attempts to tackle the number one health problem currently afflicting Narnian citizens, namely petrification of the various talking animals by the evil ice queen.

Since departing his previous post as head of the Human Genome Project Collins has become well known through his promotion of the view that belief in Science and Narnia are compatible.

“Science is the method through which we learn about the world using conjecture based on known facts, model building and experimental verification, relying ultimately on the principles of methodological naturalism. Scientific knowledge about every aspect of the universe is essentially tentative and as such is constantly open to refinement based on newly acquired data. Narnia, on the other hand is a magic land, entered through a door in the back of a wardrobe. It’s full of talking animals and its history is dominated by a war between a blonde witch with icicles in her hair and a talking Lion who possesses the ability to come back from the dead.

Now do you see? There’s clearly no conflict!”

No formal written offer of the directorship has to date been seen by Collins, but there is little question, according to our source, that this offer is forthcoming. “Francis is adamant that last weekends hiking trip incident, during which he spotted a waterfall, frozen in roughly the shape of a wardrobe, leads him to surmise the only possible conclusion - he is being called to Narnia where his services as head of the Narnia Institute of Health are urgently required.”

Saturday, May 30, 2009

The Compassion of Bill Donohue

On the 20th May 2009 the Irish high court judge Sean Ryan today unveiled the 2600-page final report into the horrific child abuse that occurred over a number of decades in church run institutions in the Republic of Ireland.
On May 29th the radio show, 'The Last Word' with Matt Cooper, included the following segment with Catholic League president, Bill O Donohue and human rights activist and abuse survivor Colm O'Gorman.
I'll let Bill's words speak for themselves.

HT Atheist Media Blog

The Kiss

Tuesday, May 26, 2009

New Fossil Challenges Evolution Theory

Crocoduckus darwinii
From Comfort et al PLOS ONE (2009)

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

Ireland Eliminates its National Debt, thanks be to God!

Minister Ahern and his new team

Economists the World over are hailing the Republic of Ireland's innovative approach to the international financial crisis. Dubbed the ‘Ahern Strategy’ after its creator, Minister for Justice Dermot Ahern, the plan is expected to rapidly turn a national debt of €37 billion into a surplus of almost €300 billion.
“Quite frankly I’m shocked”, stated internationally renowned financial analyst Brian Ellison.
“Why nobody thought of this before simply astounds me.”
Ahern’s plan is based on the simple idea that the State can extract a charge from any individual who falls foul of the new law of defamation against religion.
While anti-blasphemy laws have been in place in Ireland since the adoption of the republics 1937 constitution they have been rather toothless in the absence of a legal definition of the term.
“That’s the genius of Ahern’s plan” Ellison explains. “He’s defined “Blasphemous matter" as "grossly abusive or insulting in relation to matters held sacred by any religion, thereby causing outrage among a substantial number of the adherents of that religion; and he or she intends, by the publication of the matter concerned, to cause such outrage" and put a figure of €100,000 as the fine to be levied by the State for each breach of the new law.”
“Brilliant! I can’t describe it an any other way”
Catholic and Protestant church services are full of statements about God that are blasphemous to Muslims. Both Jewish and Muslim beliefs about the divinity of Jesus Christ are clearly blasphemous to Christians. Hindu’s and Buddhists fare no better and the claim by atheists that religions have as much basis in fact as the story of the three little pigs is offensive to most if not all true believers. Is there anyone in the country that’s excluded by this marvellous act?”
“Just do the calculations!”
“3.3 million adults in Ireland at €100,000 a pop…….”

“That’s €330 billion Euro!”

Public reaction to the law has been mixed so far.
Letters of support for the legislation have been appearing in the national newspapers.
For instance Mr OB Laden writing to The Irish Independent’ from Torabora, County Offaly states,
“The crimes of the apostates are many and Allah is clear that we must avenge these wrongs. We applaud the brave stance of Mr Ahern on this matter. His help shall not be forgotten and will be rewarded in due course. We assure him that when we are in control his death shall be quick and painless”
Speaking to RTE TV reporters in Dublin this week some locals out shopping had a more negative opinion of the ‘Aherne Plan’
“Jesus, Mary and Joseph” said Anne Kelly, 55 from Coolock, County Dublin, when told of the new legislation, before being unexpectedly dragged away by the State security services for publicly flouting the new law.

Wednesday, May 6, 2009

Joseph Smith and Brigham Young posthumously inducted into The Village Peope

Brigham Young man.
There's no need to feel down....

Monday, May 4, 2009