Sunday, September 14, 2008

Obama scandal - "a new low"

News just in,

A spokesman for the McCain camp described today’s breaking reports about Barack Obama as “a new low in the history of presidential campaigns”.

 Tucker Tompkins, communications officer for the McCain team read from a prepared statement to the gathered news media. “Quite frankly it brings us no pleasure to do this but we are obliged to release the information revealed to us today by an anonymous source - Senator Barack Obama may have fathered two black children”.

“It’s unfortunate that the electorate have to find out about Senator Obama’s ‘secret’ life in this way but, sadly, it reveals so much about the sort of man he is.”

Obama hides his shame

According to sources at Fox News, Obama has yet to deny the charge but he and his wife Michelle, mother of the two girls, are expected to shortly release a joint statement.

“That can only be an act of desperation”, explained Tompkins. “I’m not sure what they can hope to achieve with the electorate with this but its looking increasingly like damage control.  I just hope they don't stoop to using the race card”

While the shocking revelation currently dominates TV election coverage the public reaction has so far been mixed.

“I’m truly disappointed” said Billy-Joe Travers, 73, a retired Imperial Wizard from north Florida.

“He’s just lost my vote. Being black themselves was bad enough, but having black children! That just shows a serious lack of judgement."

Others were more forgiving. “He’s done what? What the #¤&# ! Do you call this news?” exclaimed Sandra Kielston, 26,  a sales assistant from Cleveland, Ohio, before swiftly kneeing our reporter in the groin.

How the latest events will play out in the general voting public remains to be seen.

“This sort of revelation can kill a presidential campaign stone dead", said Tompkins, back at McCain team headquarters- “it certainly did in South Carolina in 2000 - so we reckon it's worth another try.”

Senator McCain, currently visiting the eighth circle to finalize contractual matters, could not be reached for comment. 

No comments: