We believe in a single deity who, defying the laws of thermodynamics, has made everything in the Universe. The deity consists of a three member committee, one of whom is called ‘The Father’.
We believe in Jesus Christ, another member of the God Committee, who appeared on Earth by means of a virgin surrogate mother named Mary who gave birth to a baby that happens to be the deity in human form.
Jesus was sentenced to death by the Roman regional official Pontius Pilate and was crucified, killed and buried.
Two days later his dead body came back to life as was predicted in a very loose and ambiguous sense somewhere in the bible.
He then flew up into the air to a place called heaven where he now sits as the right hand member of the three member God committee, right next to The Father.
He will return to Earth some time in the future, whereupon he will pass judgement on the lives of people who will be living at that time and on the lives of those who have died.
He will establish a monarchy with his committee in the seat of power and this rule will continue for eternity.
We believe in the last member of the God committee who is called ‘The Holy Ghost’, who, together with The Father and Jesus is to be praised and complimented by all its subjects.
The Holy Ghost has used telepathic means to send messages through certain humans who were called ‘The Prophets’.
We think there should be only one single Christian religion.
We agree that a ceremony in which a little water is sprinkled on a persons head is necessary to exonerate past instances of transgressing the house rules of the religion.
We are pleasantly anticipating our bodies coming back to life some time after death and then living forever in the land ruled by the deity committee.
Amen
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