Sunday, May 31, 2009

Francis Collins appointed Director of Narnia Institute of Health

Dr Collins prepares for work

Former head of the National Human Genome Research Institute and avid CS Lewis fan Francis Collins was today appointed the next Director of the NIH, the Narnia Institute of Health, according to sources close to Dr Collins.

“Francis is honored to have been considered for this post by the great Lord Aslan” stated our source.

Collins is expected to bring his enormous experience of modern molecular genetics to the table as his team at the NIH attempts to tackle the number one health problem currently afflicting Narnian citizens, namely petrification of the various talking animals by the evil ice queen.

Since departing his previous post as head of the Human Genome Project Collins has become well known through his promotion of the view that belief in Science and Narnia are compatible.

“Science is the method through which we learn about the world using conjecture based on known facts, model building and experimental verification, relying ultimately on the principles of methodological naturalism. Scientific knowledge about every aspect of the universe is essentially tentative and as such is constantly open to refinement based on newly acquired data. Narnia, on the other hand is a magic land, entered through a door in the back of a wardrobe. It’s full of talking animals and its history is dominated by a war between a blonde witch with icicles in her hair and a talking Lion who possesses the ability to come back from the dead.

Now do you see? There’s clearly no conflict!”

No formal written offer of the directorship has to date been seen by Collins, but there is little question, according to our source, that this offer is forthcoming. “Francis is adamant that last weekends hiking trip incident, during which he spotted a waterfall, frozen in roughly the shape of a wardrobe, leads him to surmise the only possible conclusion - he is being called to Narnia where his services as head of the Narnia Institute of Health are urgently required.”

No comments: