Expelled ! The Deleted Scenes

OK, don't ask how I did it but I've managed to get
hold of the original screenplay for 'Expelled - No
Intelligence Involved' and can now bring to light
the notorious 'deleted scenes' I'll try to add more
if and when I can find time.

First up is this strangely familiar scene in which
an older model car pulls up outside the Discovery
Institute in Seattle. Inside John Travolta and
Samuel L Jackson, wearing dark suits, begin to speak.


                        JULES

                    Okay now, tell me about “Intelligent Design”.

 

                               VINCENT

                    What so you want to know?

 

                                  JULES

                    Well, it’s stupid, right?

 

                                  VINCENT

               Yeah, it's stupid, but it ain't a hundred percent stupid. 

               You can't walk into a school, open ‘Pandas and People’,

               and start lying away about it. But you can make a very

         good  living talking about it in certain designated places.

 

                                  JULES

               Those are churches?

 

                                  VINCENT

               Yeah, it breaks down like this:

              it's legal to believe Intelligent Design, it's legal to   
                
          preach about it in a church and, if you're the

         pastor of that  church, it's legal to tell your congregation

         that it explains  how snakes can talk, people can live in
         
         whales, and that T.rex was a coconut chomping
     
        vegetarian who gave children joyrides. But doesn't

        really matter 'cause -- get a load of  this

       -- because its religion, it's illegal for the IRS to tax 

       you when you do so! Taxing churches is a right that the IRS      
                       
         don't have.

 

                                  JULES

                 That did it, man -- I'm fuckin'

                 doin' it, that's all there is to it.

 

                                  VINCENT

                 You'll dig it the most. But you

                 know what the funniest thing about

                 Intelligent Design is?

 

                                  JULES

                 Casey Luskin?

 

                                  VINCENT

                 It's the little differences. A

                 lotta the same shit we got here,

                 they got there, but there they're a

                 little different.

 

                                  JULES

                 Examples?

 

                                  VINCENT

                Well, in the Discovery Institute, you don’t

         need ‘evidence' to back up your ideas. And I don’t

          just mean ideas about what happens in the real world.

         They give you the chance to completely explain

         really stupid crap. At the DI you can just claim 

             “The Designer Did It”, if you get stuck.   

              Also, you know what they call peer review in the

          Discovery  Institute?

 

                                  JULES

               They don't call it peer review?

                     

                                  VINCENT

                No, they’re not scientists, they wouldn't

            know what the fuck peer review is.

 

                                  JULES

                What'd they call it?

 

                                  VINCENT

                "Denial of academic freedom".

 

                                  JULES

                            (repeating)

               "Denial of academic freedom"?

           And why did David Berlinski give that

           interview while lying on his back?

 

                                  VINCENT

                Big Dave's a big twat, he just hates

            ‘le Big Science’.

 

                                  JULES

                 How about the Whoppers?

 

                                  VINCENT

                 I dunno, I've never read ‘Icons of Evolution’

             by Jonathan Wells. 

                But you know what they really want to teach

            in biology class instead of science?

 

                                  JULES

                                  What?

 

                                  VINCENT

                                 Creationism.

 

                                  JULES

                               Goddamn!

 

                                  VINCENT

                   I seen 'em do it.  And I don't mean a little bit in                                        

                   philosophy of science class, they’ll fuckin'

                 drown 'em poor kids in it.

 

                                  JULES

                                  Uuccch!