In an unexpected turn of events today Sarah Palin came in for heavy criticism from a major religious right organization for her choice of John McCain as running mate for the 2008 presidential race. “Quite frankly we’re shocked” said Oral Dobson, president of ‘Focus on Everyone Elses Family’. “While Mrs Palin herself embodies the sort of person we can trust at the reins of government, we are worried by her choice of ultra-liberal Senator John McCain” “We have recently learned that Senator McCain is in favor of many of the Godless policies uppermost in the mind of all right thinking Americans, namely allowing stem cell research, legalizing homosexuality, and enabling teenage rape victims to terminate the resulting pregnancy.” “We have also realized that, just as a vote for Obama is a vote for a Muslim in the Christian Whitehouse – due to his biological father being born into that Satanic faith, a vote for McCain isn’t really much of an improvement. His daughter, Bridget McCain, was adopted from Bangladesh! Its practically full of them!” “We call on Mrs Palin to drop Senator McCain from the presidential ticket before it is too late, or failing that, convince Senator McCain to do the Christian thing and send Bridget home.”
I got this video from Godtube, an evangelical version of youtube. It's a good example of how one's worldview can allow you to view things in a different light. To the Godtube crowd it's a prime example of God working through an individual, expressing His wishes and emotions and connecting with His followers.
Prison authorities at the Federal Correctional Institution, Edgefield, South Carolina, today admitted surprise over last nights dramatic breakout by the incarcerated 'creation scientist' Kent Hovind, the notorious ‘Lizardman of Pensacola’. Hovind, in the second year of a ten year sentence for tax fraud, is believed to have broken through both his cell wall and the prison perimeter during the daring escape attempt.
Escape bid caught on traffic camera
Dramatic images of Hovind fleeing in a north-westerly direction, were captured by a traffic camera in downtown Greenville, leading to the FBI issuing an all points bulletin, requesting vigilance from the public.
“We warn the public not to approach Mr Hovind, or his ‘lizard’ should they see them, and would like to request all fruit and nut retailers to report any suspiciously large coconut orders”.
“Frankly, we’re shocked” claimed Edgefield prison warden warden Bob Schultz. “Mr Hovind always kept to himself. We never suspected a thing. It’s true we allowed him, like many of the other prisoners, to keep a small pet, in his case a lizard, in his cell, but unfortunately this policy will have to be reviewed if it’s shown to have contributed to the escape”. Warden Schultz is facing heavy criticism for ignoring Mr Hovind’s claim that the bible explains that lizards are only an early stage of a much larger, coconut eating, animal. “Yes, yes, we’ve all heard Kents dinosaur theory but seriously, how were we supposed to know it was true!” Convicted multiple murderer, Kyle Tye, the occupant of the cell opposite Mr Hovinds has accused the prison staff of incompetence for allowing the situation to develop. “They shouldn’t have let him feed it coconuts”, he explains. “My God, haven’t they watched Hovind’s videos? Tye claims that most of the inmates on Hovinds floor were freely sharing their monthly coconut ration with Hovind. “It wasn’t exactly friendship, we hoped it would eat him” Federal authorities suspect Hovind may be heading for the Creation Museum at the Kentucky-Ohio border. “We need to get him before he reaches there” said one FBI officer who wished to remain anonymous. “With so many nutty wingbats wandering around that place it’s the perfect location for him to hide out. If he manages to get in we'll never find him!”